I guess I'd just have a really serious conversation with them, asking them if they'd like to go... may be ask your mom about it. Tell her you really think using the money is a bad idea, and most of your friends didn't/aren't graduating that semester, so it doesn't really matter to you, but you're concerned how your extended family (especially your grandmother) would feel...
Also -- DO NOT RESERVE A HOTEL ROOM UNTIL YOU ARE SURE. (That said, you need to reserve one AS SOON AS you make your decision. People reserve them a year in advance, sometimes.) The reason I say this is because if you want to cancel, they might be real douchebags about it. My mom had to start a fight with the hotel company when I decided I wasn't going to go to graduation MONTHS before it actually was and they told her they weren't going to honor her refund. The funniest part? They actually re-booked the room (so they lost no money) and still tried to charge her.
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Also -- DO NOT RESERVE A HOTEL ROOM UNTIL YOU ARE SURE. (That said, you need to reserve one AS SOON AS you make your decision. People reserve them a year in advance, sometimes.) The reason I say this is because if you want to cancel, they might be real douchebags about it. My mom had to start a fight with the hotel company when I decided I wasn't going to go to graduation MONTHS before it actually was and they told her they weren't going to honor her refund. The funniest part? They actually re-booked the room (so they lost no money) and still tried to charge her.